Paris For President Video Debut!

Just what you've all been waiting for! It's the debut of Paris Hilton's new song video, "Paris For President" and wow. Just when I thought I couldn't stand her any less, she does something new to make me detest her even more. The obvious jokes about McCain and Super VP Mom Sarah Palin are included - there's a reference to the "lipstick on a pig" bit. Most shocking out of the whole thing, though? Paris apparently knows the word "proponent."

Who knew?

And that stupid little dog of hers. Ugh. Somebody needs to fry that sucker up and put it on a bun with ketchup and onions.

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Paris Hilton New Launches Bid For Fake President

We think that's what's going on, anyway.

A new video from Funny or Die (we almost always wish someone would Die) is so remarkably unfunny, we're confused and left wondering what we missed.

Below, aspiring fake president Paris Hilton seeks the political advice of "one of the greatest fake presidents" - Martin Sheen, who played President Bartlet on NBC's The West Wing from 1999-2006. A great show, that. This video? Raw pain.

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Paris Hilton Wants to See Sarah Palin Nude

We're not sure which is more depressing: Sarah Palin's attempts to make Barack Obama into a terrorist sympathizer, or Paris Hilton's attempts to be funny.

As she continues her fake Presidential run, Hilton has opened up to Harper's Bazaar about a number of topics. For starters? The Republican nominee for Vice President is hot!

"My advice to Sarah Palin is, you’ve got a hot bod; don’t keep it to yourself," Hilton says. "Why wear a pantsuit when you can wear a swimsuit? Welcome to the Lower 48, girlfriend."

And how will President Paris deal with the current economic crisis?

"I pledge to support the American workforce by wearing only American designers: Calvin Klein between Memorial Day and Labor Day, Donna Karan the rest of the year. Unless I wake up and the day is screaming for me to put on a bikini for my fellow Americans. Country first."

In Hilton's defense, only in America could someone such as herself be famous.

Paris Hilton wants to be the pretend President of the United States. We want her to be funnier in her bid to do so.